Downward Dog
by Isolation and Tea
Summary: Pre-Twilight. Oneshot of the Cullen's going to yoga.


**_Disclaimer: _**If I owned The Twilight Saga chances are I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

_**Downward Dog  
**Eternity Bites_

_--_

It had all started a few weeks ago when Alice read that her style idol did yoga. Alice then went online, did extensive research, and received brochures from every studio within 100 miles. Jasper tried to talk her out of it, saying it might expose us for what we were, but Jasper had never been able to resist giving Alice anything.

After Alice had found out everything there was to know about yoga she decided we all needed to go and 'release our inner turmoil'. Jasper resigned to going but only because Alice had begged him to. After Jasper, Alice had moved onto Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie wasn't hard to convince because she'd be able to show off how slim and perfect her body was and Emmett didn't put up much of a fight either because he was all for making Rosalie happy.

The four of them then started to try and pressure me into coming. Every time the subject was about to be broached by one of them however, I quickly asked them a question on something they would much rather talk about. After about a week of failed attempts Alice directed their attention towards Carlisle and Esme.

For persuading Esme they merely took her shopping with them and came back with seven brand new yoga mats, a bag full of DVD's, and also some of those spandex yoga suits. Esme was, after a brief struggle, able to recruit Carlisle. The six of them then focused all their efforts on me.

"Awww, come on Edward. Please?" Alice had asked with the most heartbreaking expression.

"No." I had answered her coldly, "Absolutely not."

Alice had then started jumping up and down repeating 'please' as fast as she could without breathing for minutes on end.

I finally said yes just to get Alice to stop. When she wasn't asking me out loud her every thought was badgering me.

So now two weeks later here I sit in my Volvo with Alice and Emmett. I was wearing comfortable clothes as was Emmett. Alice was wearing one of her spandex getups and I presumed the rest of the girls would be wearing one also.

"Remind me why I'm going again." I asked, gripping the steering wheel tightly, for the fifth time since we left.

"Because you said you would!!" Alice reminded me in her sing-songy voice. "Besides, it'll be fun Edward."

"Yah, fun. If I wanted to sit bored in a room, surrounded by trivial human thoughts I could've gone to school." I said under my breath. Alice shot a scowl in my direction and Emmett laughed.

"Just chill bro. It can't be that bad."

"Emmett do you even know what yoga is?" I asked, eyeing him.

"It's a type of gym, right?" Emmett questioned me, unsure. I couldn't help it. I started laughing and soon Alice joined in.

"I don't get it." Emmett roared, frustrated.

"That's whats so funny." I managed to say in between chuckles. Emmett just sat there growing more frustrated and we eventually sobered up.

"Emmett, yoga is a kind of meditation. Not a type of gym." Alice told him, gesturing with the brochure in her hands. Emmett, looking horrified, snatched the brochure. Emmett's look of horror slowly evolved as he continued to read.

"Do you now understand my reluctance about coming on this journey?'

Emmett nodded his head mutely at me and pulled out his phone to call Rosalie. I tuned out their conversation and continued towards 'The Lotus'. Which was the name of our destination. Emmett had caved again to Rosalie and was sulking in the back seat.

_"Edward, you have to find us a way out of this."_

Emmett's mental voice pleaded. I made eye contact with him through the medium of the rear view mirror and shook my head. Emmett sighed and resumed pouting.

In a few more minutes we made it to 'The Lotus' with rest of our family right behind us. We stepped out of our cars and headed towards the entrance, each of us carrying one of those little mats. The lobby was done in bright yellows and lime greens and the floors were a light blonde maple hardwood.

"Hi I'm Jenny. How can I help you?" Said the receptionist, Jenny, when she saw us approach. The poor girl looked dazed.

_"Wow, these people are absolutely gorgeous! Wait until Brooklyn hears! She'll totally flip!"_

Alice took charge and got us all signed up. We were then led to a medium length room filled with about twenty woman. Fantastic. It wasn't enough to be here, but I also had to be one of the only guys. I glanced sideways at Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle. They were all noticeably uncomfortable. The jaws of all the ladies dropped simultaneously as they saw us. Alice and Rosalie noticed, and territorially grabbed their loves, Esme patted Carlisle's shoulder reassuringly, and I walked over to a fairly empty corner.

_"Shame that only the bronze-haired one seems to be single. Oh well he's still incredibly gorgeous. Wonder if he's looking..."_ Came twenty similar thoughts.

Magnificent. I'd already have to control my movements and thirst, now I'd also have to control my disgust. If I really was seventeen, most of these woman were old enough to be my mother.

A girl in her early twenties then flounced into the room and announced that her name was Julie.

"Alright, to help us relax lets start with sitting on our mats in the lotus position." Julie instructed.

I smoothly sank to the mat arranging myself to mimic her stance. I ended up sitting with my legs crossed. Well this is original. Julie instructed us from there to close our eyes and focus on our breathing. The women around me sat looking calm and serene, but their thoughts were a mess. After our 'relaxing period' Julie called up Jasper and Emmett. Both shot an alarmed look at Alice and Rosalie but they just smiled their encouragements. Jasper and Emmett walked dejectedly to the front of the room and stood by Julie.

"Hey there. You two wouldn't mind helping me out for a few minutes, would you?" Julie asked energetically.

Jasper and Emmett both shook their heads although anyone could see they rather did mind. Julie placed them with their feet flat on the ground, hands flat on the ground facing inward, and behinds in the air. Julie called it the 'Downward Dog'. I was trying very hard not to laugh. After placing them the way she wanted, Julie started running her hands up and down their legs and such, exclaiming how perfectly they were holding the pose. I heard Alice growl lowly and shot her a warning look. Julie continued to touch Jasper and Emmett before indiscreetly slipping them each her number.

The rest of the class was akward. Julie shot meaningful looks at Emmett and Jasper, while Alice and Rosalie glared at the three of them. When it was finally over we gathered up our belongings and gracefully left 'The Lotus'.

_"Edward tell Jasper that he and Emmett are going with you."_ Alice told me mentally.

I raised my eyebrows but complied. So they were blaming Jasper and Emmet were they?

"It looks like the Downward Dogs are in the doghouse." I commented, while sliding into the Volvo. Emmett and Jasper sent me matching death glares than started thinking of ways to fix their errors. I was glad, as I sometimes was, that I didn't have to worry about that sort of thing. It sounded like a pain. The journey was spent silently and we soon made it back to Forks.

"Oh man. Rose is so mad at me." Emmett whined and I laughed.

"Well, some good did come of this trip." I started and they looked at me like I was insane. "I can't see us ever having to do yoga again."


End file.
